Het is vandaag International Blackadder Status Update Day op Facebook. Een mooie aanleiding om ook maar eens wat random Blackadder quotes te bloggen. Mijn favoriete quote staat bovenaan, de rest is in willekeurige volgorde. 🙂

1. A war hasn’t been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, High Chief of all the Vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

2. “I spy with my little eye something beginning with ‘T’.”
Baldrick: “Breakfast! Breakfast always starts with tea!”

3. Baldrick, you wouldn’t recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing ‘subtle plans are here again’.

4. This will be the greatest moment in art since Mona Lisa walked into the studio and said, I’m feeling a little odd today.”

5. Blackadder: Baldrick, I would like to say how much I will miss your honest, friendly companionship.
Baldrick: Thank you, Mr B.
Blackadder: But, as we both know, it would be an utter lie. I will therefore confine myself to saying simply, ‘Sod off and if I ever meet you again, it will be twenty billion years too soon.’

6. Blackadder: ‘Baldrick, in the Amazonian rain forests there are tribes of Indians as yet untouched by civilisation who have developed more convincing Charlie Chaplin impressions than yours.’

7. “Baldrick, your brain is like the four headed, man-eating haddock fish beast of Aberdeen.”
“In what way? ”
“It doesn’t exist.”

8. This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you’ve got a moment, it is a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout; 24-hour portage, and an enormous sign on the roof, saying ‘This Is a Large Crisis’. A large crisis requires a large plan. Get me a ruler, two pencils and a pair of underpants.

9. Baldrick’s cooking – Rat au van. (A rat that’s been run over by a van.)

10. Now let me ask you some simple questions: is there are a saw in this bag?
Baldrick: No.
Edmund: A hammer?
Baldrick: No.
Edmund: A chisel?
Baldrick: No.
Edmund: A gun?
Baldrick: No.
Edmund: A false passport?
Baldrick: (thinks) No.
Edmund: A change of clothes?
Baldrick: Yes sir, of course I wouldn’t forget a change of clothes.
Edmund: Ah, now that’s something, let’s see…..a Robin Hood costume.
Baldrick: I put in a French peasant’s outfit first, but then I thought
‘What if you arrive in a French peasant’s village and they’re
in the middle of a fancy dress party?’
Edmund: And what if I arrive in a French peasant village, dressed in a
Robin Hood costume and there *isn’t* a fancy dress party?
Baldrick: Well, to be quite frank sir, I didn’t consider that eventuality

11. Baldrick : My favourite’s the Shadow. What a man! They say he’s half way to being the new Robin Hood.
Blackadder : Why only half way?
Baldrick : Well he steals from the rich, but he hasn’t gone round to giving it to the poor yet.

12. “Not to worry, my Lord. The arrow didn’t in fact, enter my body. No. By a thousand to one chance, my willy got in the way.”